For the past three years I have been working on my spiritual growth, there are days when it is right on and I feel amazing and feel like I am on the right path. Then there are the days in which I just cry out because I feel so lost and want to question why I have gone through the things I have in my life. These are the days when life is "not fair" and I compare myself to the others around me. These are the days I want to take back all the bad things I have done, apologize to those who I have hurt and carry on like nothing happened.
I am happy to say that I am FINALLY OVER the pity party! And it feels so good. I have had to learn, I can only lend an ear, give encouragement and embrace those who are close to me. For what they do, I cannot control. I am a "fixer" I want to fix anything and everything for those I care and love.
Recently I went through the hardest heartbreak I have ever in my life. Around the same time a fairly new, special friend and I began to really talk about life and our beliefs. Funny I have always been there for those who need me and I have had people here for me but there was something about this friend. She was real, she didn't judge, I didn't feel any negative energy from her spirits. I vented to her and all the "negatives" I now look back and she was turning them into positives through our conversations.
I came home and really felt better. This person that I barely knew, listened to me and turned my frown upside down. How can a person be so happy and full of life and then I thought, that was me at a point in my life. So I had to get a little bit more information on this new friend and of course, I stalked her FB! I had to understand where this energy and angel was coming from. By the time I was done and read her blog, everything folded back into place for me.
First was first, I have to take care of myself to my fullest potential, (I had stopped doing that). So I began working out again and making sure the hair and makeup is done, (I don't need the makeup but it makes me feel good). I have resisted cutting all my hair off again and have lost inches from my body and starting to buff up a bit. It is nice to have to wear a belt with every single pair of pants I own and to fit in to ones that I haven't worn for years. I have changed my diet, I am eating clean and healthy, (I will admit, I slip every once in awhile and I regret it by the way my body handles it), I am drinking a gallon of water and probably more each day! I have the health part down and I am loving it. I have learned that when your body is not healthy, neither are you emotionally.
I continue to proceed on this healthy and clean eating and working out and hoping I will be able to help those who want to do the same achieve their goals. Stay tuned for more about that.....
I know so many people who are seeking out not so good things in their life's, they are going the opposite direction of what they want to do and I'm watching slowly as it is sucking the energy right out of them. I hear people say what they want out of their life's but instead they are following others and not being the leader of their own life and what they believe in. I was at that place once and let me tell you, it feels so much better to be free from all the what if's, could haves...I am now on the going to and achieving more.
Now of course I am taking baby steps, because my house is still unorganized, my bills are laid all over, my new planner (Erin Condren) is just barely out the box and well I still have a table full of clean laundry. But guess what, I am at peace with that and will begin my 4 week plan of organizing tomorrow. Not going to stress over it.
Something to ponder, "What is your focus in life? What will make you happy? How can you get to that inner peace?". Night All!!! Might be back, I have had 3 cups of coffee and have so much on my mind!!! XOXO
